I love you Daisy, but your real names Renesmee?
by Misslittlepinkbag
Summary: Memories are striking Daisy down, and she keeps falling. Her life is messed up, does she remember that she really is Renesmee cullen now she has crossed paths with her real family? Will she remember her bond to Jake?
1. Meet Jacob Black

For any of my Author alerter's this is a story which is very different from other stories I have written- well it starts off that way anyway. It is a great story for Jacob lovers, and I am experimenting with other story lines and characters aka Daisy. She will come across the Cullen's a lot of the time as well as the La Push gang. It does contain some abuse so may not be suitable for the kiddies?

Daisy's POV -(Daisy is Nessie, you will find out what happened to her and why she is with another family and not hers- she never met Jake in breaking dawn)

"Move stupid" He hissed at me. He kicked my already bruised chest, new bruises were forming on previous bruises. I could feel the sick cough soar its way up my aching lungs. I coughed uncontrollably and splattered droplets of blood on my hand.

I tried to keep quiet, but the coughs kept coming. "Do I have to tell you again" he spat at me. I felt another blow hit my defenceless body. With the strength I could muster I pushed myself on to all fours, His tough hand grasped my arm tight and he tugged me up. My weak legs buckled beneath me. He shoved me backward, I felt my head hit the wooden floor hard. He then loomed on top of me, a big weight.

I couldn't move.

Couldn't breathe. His sick alcohol tinged breath on my skin. I wanted to vomit, but my empty stomach retched up nothingness. I tried to cry out, but my soul could not take another beating. _If you scream _he once said, _I will not hesitate to hurt you. _I bit down hard on my lip, it didn't shock me when I could taste blood. It was a regular taste I was used to.

He forced his sweaty hand up my top, and ripped down my bra. The bra strap, snapped at the force. His rough hand groped and pulled at my flesh. He looked up at me, those evil filled green eyes staring at my soul. "Now, Now," he said, forcing his tongue in my mouth. It wriggled and forced deeper down, I couldn't breathe..I wanted to die.

The sweatpants I was wearing were now around one of my flapping ankles along with my underwear. My weak legs had buckled. No matter how hard I force them to stay together, his fat legs force them apart. The tendons in my thighs, straining in pain.

His round, hairy belly flops out as his pulls his trousers down. I stare at the ceiling. I look for my usual spot and see the faded flower I drew after the second rape. I know it off by heart. The perfect roundness of the center, the four petals branching off from it, and then the further petals surrounding that. I shut my eyes tight for a moment when I felt him dive in deep. It no longer hurts. My flesh is broken, is adapted for this now. I stare back at the daisy I drew on the ceiling. I want that to be me, so pretty and free. Dancing in the wind, or on a balcony peering down at the world.

I want to have no pain, no uncle, no thoughts or memories or feelings. I want to be what I am named after. Instead I am in this hell. Wheres my superman to save me. No where! That is fiction, and this is my low life. No one can save me, No one.

We moved to Fork's three days ago. A woman at the bank saw my purple stained skin when I was reaching for the money. She looked over at my uncle standing wearily in the corner of the bank. Her eyes flickered between us. _Please. _I thought. _Please. Look at him, look at me. Phone the police, call some one. Help. _But she didn't, she handed me the money. My money- which my uncle takes, and watched me leave with him. No word, no regret.

"How could you be so stupid" He yelled at me when we got back. "One thing, You can't do one thing" His hand found my face. Slap. My head swung sideways, my jaw throbbed in pain. "Do you want me to go. Do you want to be taken into care" Yes. "Do you want to sleep with the vermin, or have strange care workers touch you" my stomach flipped. " Do you want to die" his hands clenched around my throat. I gasped for breath, I clawed at his strong arms. "I can end it. If you want. I am good to you, and you pull a stunt like that" The last thing I remember is flying sideways hitting the stone wall.

I was walking down the long empty road of Forks. Either side of me, the woods stand tall. I could run, hide. Never be found. But go where? And I couldn't do that to Ben. My baby brother. I take care of him, no matter what state I am in. He is only three. Thankfully he doesn't get the wrath of my uncle. I stand between them, shielding him. The only time I threaten I my uncle. "You can kill me, touch me. But if you hurt him I swear"

"What" he said. " Do you think so less of me to touch a child like that. I only touch what is already rotten, whores, sluts, worthless flesh" he said this as his hands forced its way into my jeans. The button breaking off from the force. He keeps him there, all the time with him. He knows that if I find the opportunity I will run. But only if I can get Ben.

The shopping was heavy in my hands, the straps digging deep into my palms. The drizzly rain, soaked my hair. Today was Sunday, tomorrow I would be starting school. My uncle has already got me a job at some store called Newtons, and as a waitress in this towns only restaurant. I was forcing a piece of hair from my face, when I first saw him. His copper skin seemed to shine in this dismal weather. His great grin and flapping shaggy dark hair. He was walking alone, towards me. Our eyes met and I quickly drew them away.

He smiled as he passed. Thankfully I had no marks on my face, just covering everything else of my being. I rushed forward, but then suddenly the plastic handle of the bag snapped and I could see a jar of tomato sauce roll towards his feet.

"Woah" he said as he bent down picking it up. "Bags in this town, just can't get a descent one" He walked towards me, I was stood frozen looking at the food roll around on the floor. "Here let me help"

"Er....thanks...." I stuttered out. The coat he had swung over his arm, he placed on the floor as he gathered the food into a pile.

"Im Jacob" He said, extending a large hand towards me. "Jacob Black"

I struggled for a while what to do, If my uncle passed wondering where I was and then found me talking to a guy he would flip. But there was something about this guy. Something he gave off. A sense of easy and safety. It was strange. I extended my cold and shaking hand towards his.

When his fingers clamped around mine, the first thing I noticed was the heat. But it was freezing outside and plus he was shirtless. I shivered in my long sleeved turtleneck jumper and jeans. "Daisy" I said- very quietly. I cleared my throat- as if that would release the lump of pain and fear that always resides there. "Hi"

He noticed me shiver, he quickly picked up his coat and stared putting it around me. "Here" he said. He came close, his chest was in my face. I could smell dampness and the woods- it smelt nice, sort of homey. In a way.

"Now what should we do here" he said as he thought. "Here I know, I'll go and get my car and come for you. Then I can take you home" shit, he can't.

"No" I said almost instantly. "I mean, my uncle sleeps during the day. He...er works nights so....he wouldn't be pleased" I pulled at the lose tread on my sleeve.

"Ok then, let me at least take you to my house the get some descent bags" I new that talking to strangers wasn't a good thing, or in fact going to there house. Which is why I am still trying to figure out why I said 'yes' to him. I was now walking side to side with this stranger- Jacob- but it was the safest I have felt in years.

"So" he began. "I haven't seen you around here before. Yah new?" he asked giving me a huge toothy smile.

"Yes." I still didn't feel comfortable giving away to much of my life, I even felt bad for lying to him before about my uncle. Strange.

"Well" he said, "I've been here my whole life. Well the La Push part"

"La Push?" I said.

"Yeh, this reservation. We're actually on the land now. Its so peaceful and calm and I am so used to the woods that it is strange when ever I go to Forks or a town. It just seems so strange not to have the trees near you. Know what I mean. Its home." Actually I didn't, I haven't had a home in years, but still I found myself nodding along to what he was saying. "Well heres home" He said gesturing to a house in front of him. It was still a way away that I found myself squinting to see it.

But it did feel like a home, the grey smoke chugging from the chimney of the strange tiny wooden house. The walls red and outside a car volks rabbit, along a dark blue truck, even the open garage which I could see was full of rusty tools and car parts. I was snapped back in to the present when a volvo arrived up the path behind us.

"Hey Jake" a pale, young, brown haired woman called out from the car. I could barely see who was in the passengers seat, but from the back out climbed a young boy but in simular form to Jacob.

"Hey Bell's. Edward" he called looking in the window of the car, I peered around him.

"Jacob" the male - Edward- replied.

"Why are you driving" Jacob asked Bella, then letting off a laugh. "I was told you drove like an old woman. ....Even now" he nudged her arm with his. "Hey bud" he said as the young boy passed us. "This is Daisy" I was shocked when he said my name.

"Hi" the boy called out, "Seth....hey is that cookie dough" he said looking at Jacob's arms.

"Hey" Jacob called out pulling away from Seth. "Hands off. This is the ladies here"

"Hi" Said to the boy, a little off cue. "Here" I said as I pulled it free from Jacobs arms. "Be my guest" I'd rather him have it than my fat uncle.

"You sure" Jacob said. I nodded.

"Thanks" the boy called as he jogged to the house with the cookie dough in his hand.

"Right" Jacob said as he turned back to the car window. "This is Daisy. Daisy this is Bella and Edward" he stepped out of my view, and that is when I saw them properly. To beautul faces peeing back at me. Perfect pale skin the male more so than the woman, gleaming eyes- his golden and hers brown-.

"Hi" I said, tugging down on the bottom of my jumper. I felt ugly compared to them.

"Hello" Bella said, Edward leaned over.

"Hello Daisy. Nice to meet you" He said. Wow is everyone in this town so friendly. I've had more kindness in a minute here than I've had my whole life. I could see the corner of Edwards mouth as he pulled back. He looked like he was holding back a smile.

They left soon after our introductions. Jacob kicked the door open for me and allowed me to go in first. It was warm and something smelled nice. Cooking, yes. Home cooking was drifting though the tiny house. Jacob pilled the food on the table, and walked to a cupboard where he pulled out a plastic carrier. He started putting my food in it. The baking smell was making my mouth water. I had only had a glass of water and half a stale plain bagel last night, It was only now I realised I was starving.

A slim woman was in the kitchen she turned around to me, that is when I first noticed the scars on her face. It didn't bother me, and I still found myself looking in her eyes because having scars and marks on skin was a think I was so used to see- in the mirror anyway.

"Hello" she said. I edged closer to the kitchen. "Im Emily" she slapped Jacob on the head. "Introductions" she said to him.

"Hi" I almost whispered out. I cleared my throat again. "Daisy"

"Well hello Daisy, come and sit down honey your drenched" I could feel the tears bubble beneath the surface of my eyes. "Let me get you a towel and something warm to drink" I knew that I should go, that HE would be furious. But I didn't care, I liked it here. I felt safe and stupidly enough loved- because I have never had treatment like this. It seemed so stupid to think about it but it was true.

She handed me a towel and I started running it through my hair. She then placed a steaming cup of hot chocolate in front of me. It smelt mouth watering, I wavered whether I should drink it- it seemed wrong some how. But I lifted it to my face and took a mouthful. Sure it burned my throat but I felt the warmness trickle through my body.

"Is that hot chocolate?" Someone called out. When I looked it was Seth.

"Sure is, and before you ask. Yes I have made you a cup" she laughed as she handed over ruffling his hair as she did.

"Don't touch the hairdo" he called out laughing.

"You call that a hairdo, more like bedhead" Jacob said, nugging his brother.

"Are the cookies done yet" Seth asked Emily impatiently.

"The cookies are not done yet" she called over her shoulder peering into the over. Jacob took a seat next to me on the table.

"Oh boy." He said, "Here come more trouble" he joked. "Don't mind them, there harmless boys" he said to me looking at the door. I couldn't hear anything but sure enough a minute later a small group of chattering boys came it.

"Did you see that move it was like bam" one of the boys said clapping his hands together.

"You were slow" another said.

"Was not" the first boy said defending himself.

A slightly older man cleared his throat when he saw me and everyone fell silent. "Daisy" Jacob suddenly said, "this is Jared, Paul" They nodded as their names were spoke. "Embry, Quill, Collin" They waved, "this is Leah" he said just as a girl stormed in a planted herself on the couch, she completely ignored the kitched. Some of the boys sniggered. "Finally this is Sam"

"Hello" Sam said, holding his hand out. I shook it, he then made his way towards Emily and took her in his hands while kissing her neck and face.

"Better forget those cookies" Seth said smiling, "I've just been put off" He let off a giggle. Sam picked up a dishcloth and threw it towards him. Seth ducked it. "Hey!" he called out.

"Well Im sure they wont go to waste will they boys" Emily said as she pulled them out.

In a kind of harmony they all said "No" together.

"Man Im starving" Paul said.

"Me too" Collin said leaning against the wall.

I felt very warm suddenly as they entered. I couldn't be sure whether it was the heating or the crowded-ness of the house or something else? By the time I looked around again each of the boys had a warm drink in there hand, even Leah on the couch. I slid my arms out of the coat, the heat was stifling.I could feel the sweat beads form on the back of my neck. I pushed the warm hot chocolate towards the middle of the table- as if that would help.

Paul and Jared who had been having a arm wrestle suddenly nudged a passing Collin. His drink hot drink splashed on me, soaking its way to my skin. I could feel the sting as it reached a cut from a previous beating.

I stood up in shock, but before I could think any further, the heat took my breath away and I fell into the darkness...................................


	2. There's a wolf in my kitchen?

Just a note:

Ok she doesn't know who she is, and she thinks she is human so she has all these human things and ages she says- so bare with me as she has been lied to (just in case your confused when she says she was eleven, fifteen, or turning eighteen) ok p.s. love reviews :P

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I opened my eyes, it was darkness all around. My hand reached out to the 'surface' of which I was lying on. It felt soft under my fingers, like a bed. My legs swung of the bed and I stood up. I could just make out the tiny cracks of light coming from the closed door. Once I reached the door my hand scanned the walls in search of a light switch. I then felt the cold plastic and the raised switch, and as I switched it on the light burned my eyes.

I suddenly remembered the burning hot chocolate on my leg, but I noticed as I looked down I wasn't wearing the clothes I was last in. I looked around the unfamiliar room at first scared at where I was. But as the familiar colored walls came into sight I relaxed a little. Jacob. I was still at Jacobs. But why was I now in a very large baggy T-shirt- It was almost down to my knees- it smelt woodsy and fresh. I took me a while to remember my discoloured skin.

I ran over to the mirror that was on the wall, I pealed up the t-shirt and then saw that the marks were still there. An artists pallet of yellows, greens, blues, violets. Even the marks on my neck were visible from the lack of a turtle neck. Who ever dressed me? would have seen these marks. My hands flew to my face as I held my mouth shut. I wanted to cry but not because they know, but because I am glad they know- this is what I want- but .............Ben. They can't know because of Ben. He would be taken away from me, lost forever in the care system. I can't lose him. Not after the loss of so many people in my life.

He is my rock, what keeps me still breathing.

I could hear voices outside the door, I've always had good hearing and eyesight for that matter, my mother and I had a bet. If she was ever able to creep up on me I would have to by her ice cream, but seeing as I was so good I was the one who always received ice cream every Saturday. I miss that.

"Shit" I almost shouted, but I cupped my mouth with my hand. _My uncle. He's going to flip. What time is it?_Before I had time to look for a clock there was a knock on the door. I stood frozen just staring at it. Was I suppose to say something? I just stayed stood in silence. I felt bare, I wanted to cover my legs- force of emotional confidence, what with....my uncle. My stomach churns sickly at the thought of him. Every time a single thought involving him its like I want to vomit, but I never do. Just feel the nausea- because half the time my stomach is empty. Not because he refuses to feed me. No. That's the one thing that surprised me at first. After the first rape.

_Flashback_

Tears were flowing down my face. Today had been such a long day, the day of my parents funeral. But also the day that the paperwork of mine and Ben's placement had finally been completed. We were living with my uncle- his name is Derek but he asked us to call him uncle?- I've never really seen him before.

Only once before at my parents anniversary party, before Ben's birth. I remember him chatting up a lot of the girls, I was only eleven. He sat at the bar most of the night, drinking shots. The only movement he made was when he was asked to pose in a family picture. He stumbled over slightly tispy. The photographer wanted me to sit on someones lap, it was either my grandad or my uncle.

My uncle gladly said he would have me. "Come on honey" he said, "Come to your uncle, gosh haven't you grown. Its been such a long time Sue" he directed at my mother- his sister- I gladly went over. Taken back by his friendliness, I hadn't spoken to him before. So my waryness was not present. _He is family. _I told myself, _Whats the worst he could do?_

It was only now as I sat on the edge of my bed hearing him knock on my door for the first time how wrong I had been to ignore what he did to me, while sitting on his lap. As I watched him enter my room, and sit next to me on the bed I was clueless. But as he wrapped his arm around my sobbing shoulders and with his other hand he reached down my bag towards my bottom did the memory only flash to me.

I had walked over and sat on his lap. "Hello" I said, he smiled and wrapped one arm around my waist. That felt fine, just like if you sat on Santa's lap at Christmas. But then I felt a finger touch my underwear under my skirt. It shocked me so much, because I hadn't even notice his arm move. It wasn't doing anything, it was just resting there. I brushed it off, looking around at my parents. I thought it was nothing as they had looked at us and smiled, I put it down to him just holding me while taking the picture. Because he had acted so normal.

But now four years later now laying on the bed he had for me, my stomach turned. I froze in shock, he peeled back the black shirt I had worn reveling my bra. One of his arms slid under me and he pulled me up while his other hand ripped the shirt from my arms. He flung it on the floor. It was now that I regretted the nice underwear I had begged my mother for- three days before the accident for- it was now used against me in turning on my rapist uncle. His face smiled a evil grin, as he watched my body. Both of his arms held down my arms- at my side, bent at the elbow with my hands near my head- one hand quickly tugged on my underwear and before I could realise it was on the floor, he hacked my skirt up and just looked at me for a moment more.

I hated the fact that I was almost fully grown, I had always been a early developer- or so my mum used to joke- so I hated the fact that now aged fifteen I was fully developed in those areas...

I wanted my parents, why did they have to die? It hurt so bad the first time he entered me. He pushed through my flesh, I felt like I was being torn. The bed creaked from every penetration, but it was the only thing I could focus on. The first time, I closed my eyes. Picturing that the creaking was from a swing, a swing which my mother and father were pushing. My limbs were already weak, so I couldn't fight him off. But it was now that I wished that I had died with them.

When he left the room with out saying a word, I rushed over to the closed door and pulled my chair infront of it. I felt back on to the bed and the tears just pored out of my eyes. I was only fifteen, Ben was one years old and sound asleep in the next room. I took the bed sheets in my teeth and bit hard trying to sound out the sobs.

This was the first time I hated my parents. I hated them for dying, for leaving me here.

* * *

"Daisy?.....Daisy." I heard someone call, "Sam" I tuned back into the room when I heard the shuffle off feet. When I looked at the door, the woman Emily was standing there. The man she called - Sam- was approaching. "I keep calling her but she...its like she's unresponsive"

"I" I quickly said, tugging down on the T-shirt, it felt uncomfortable having Sam- a male- seeing me in this, my legs bare. He saw this and stepped sideways so that he was out of view. Emily was still stood there, she looked at me with those-Im sorry eyes- I watched her carefully as she walked into the room and from a draw pulled out some males sweatpants.

"Here you go honey" her arm extended and she held them out to me. I didn't move.

"Where are my clothes?" I asked her.

"They are in the wash," she replied.

"Who....who dressed me?"

"It was me, you felt so warm and the hot chocolate was all over your clothes. So I put you in new clothes, the boys never saw but your skin......" she trailed off looking at me. Sam cleared his throat and Emily said, "decent"- she was talking about me. "Now" she said, turning back to me. "Why don't you come into the seating area and we can...have a little talk" she said.

A talk? oh great she wants to talk about the bruises. Shit, shit, shit. What the hell can I say, sure I want this to end, to stop but I can't lose my brother just one more year and I will be eighteen and I can leave him, take ben and run.

"Talk about what?" I said, trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. She just looked at me and let out a sigh.

"The bruises honey" Emily said

"These" I pointed to the bruises on my arms, " I......I" shit think of something.....car crash?- No how would you explain the strangling marks.."My boy friend, back in Chicargo did this. Its why we moved here to get a fresh start" I hoped she didn't know that I was lying, I never was a good lier.

All she said was "Oh, Well then. Maybe I should call your uncle?" shit no!

"I don't want to upset him further" yeah f**king right, "he was gutted that he missed what my boyfriend was doing to me, that he was distraught. So I would hate for you to bring it up again. He is only getting over it" I was lying through my teeth and I hated it. She was so kind, being so kind. I felt like I could stay here forever but the realisation was kicking in, I needed to go..fast.

"With that in mind I really should go. I've got to go and baby sit my brother so..." Baby sit, yeah right got to go and feed him then go to my job- restaurant-

"Of course." She said.

"Is it ok If I have my clothes. I can dry them at home, and can I borrow these" I said tugging at the t-shirt.

"Yes, let me just go and get them. Sam will drop you off home with the shopping ok" I can't arrive home, with a boy driving me......

"Sure...I mean great thanks" she left the room and headed for the kitchen. I followed and Sam did too.

"Where's Jake?" I asked Sam.

"Oh....he had to go, erm....... but he said that he was sorry that he had to leave you here" oh my heart sank a little, not that I didn't feel safe here with Sam or Emily but with Jacob its different.......

I managed to get Sam to park a road away from my house- not telling him of course, just pointing at the nearest house saying its ours- he offered to carry the shopping but I said that my uncle will be upset with my lateness so its not best for me to show up with a boy, he may flip especially with the ex boy friend story. He let me go and drove off, I think with out a problem. In one hand I had the shopping and in the other my wet clothes.

I creeped up to the house and ducked in the bushes, I changed into my wet clothes, and stuffed Jacob's into the bottom of the shopping bag- no matter if Im beaten for being late he never looks in the shopping always making me do it, after every beating, or rape, or molest or verbal abuse...

I actually still didn't know what time it was and as I walked towards the door it was then I noticed that the sky was turning black. I put the key in the door and opened it facing more darkness. There were no lights on..how strange? Suddenly large hands grabbed my arms and flung me forwards. The shopping bag bashed on the floor and myself hit the hard tiles of the kitchen- I had been flung all the way through the hall to the kitchen-. My forehead cracked on the tiles.

A booming voice broke the silence followed by Bens cries. As I looked to my right I could see him in a play pen in the shimmer of the moon light crying his eyes out. Either from the sudden shock of shouting or him seeing his sister crumpled on the floor. "Its ok Ben" I called out, realising I shouldn't have said anything.

"Ok. Is that what you call losing a job you never turned up for!" I could hear his feet stomping on the floor as he grew closer. My breathing stopped, listening. "Answer me" he screamed. I was confused, was I that late? "Out all day and night, gallivanting around."

"Im sorry" I cried out. I hated apologising to him. But I wanted to be as quick as possible, to get to Ben. He was so distressed and it was wounding my heart. My breath was knocked out of me as a huge weight fell on top of my back. I was forced further into the tiles of the floor, the groves digging deep into my face. His fist grasped my hair and he pulled hard back.

"You lost me money. I got that job for you and this is what you do" he screamed louder in my ear. A weird smashing sound entered the room, and the weight was suddenly lifted from my body. Dazed and hurt I flipped myself over, I was sure I was seeing things.

A large flash of fur past the dark kitchen, it was only when I heard a growl when I realised what it was. Still on the floor I backed my way towards Ben. My breathing very heavy. Some kind of a creature- dog? wolf- grizzly- was in my kitchen, I couldn't give a shit about my uncle- but Ben. I heard a second growl fill the house, the first animal had moved further into the hall, possibly the lounge but the second animal was entering the kitchen. I could hear the glass crunch and it crept over it. A lump filled my throat, My head wall across from the play pen. It was then as I began to get to my feet when I saw it.

The moonlight hit the dark eyes, they were staring at me. The fur brown, moved in the breeze from the broken glass backdoor, its tongue hung out of its mouth and its teeth were visible. I just stayed frozen, in my kind of half crouching position. It moved closer but took the route closest to Ben, a shock thought crept into my brain. Its going for Ben. As it edged closer a scream shot from my throat "Nooo" I jumped in front of Ben, shielding him. But when my eyes adjusted to the darkness again- after moving- I saw that the bloody big wolf? had stopped. It was still staring at me at us.

My hands reached down very slowly, Ben was still crying. I held him close to my body as I started backing away again. I was just out of the kitchen when I turned around and saw two more big dark eyes. A uncontrolled scream flowed from my mouth and my heart started racing, with out thinking I ran from the face towards the open door. Once I reached the porch I looked back to see if I was being chased when I bumped into something.

"Whoa, slow down its ok" When I turned around, I noticed that I was shaking. "Your safe now" safe, so he knew about the wolves. But then I saw a police car drive away and in the back was my uncle....but how?

"What" I croaked out though my quivering lips. The police officer removed his jacket and wrapped it around me, as he did this he called out. "Oh look at that, we need a medic here. Lou?"

"Right on it boss" someone called back. Ben had settled down a little, and was nestling deep in my shoulder. I figured out he was talking about my face, I could taste the blood on my lips.

"How did you get....." I said, trailing off.

"Well" He said, pulling me down to sit on the near by bench. My legs gave way easily. "We got a call saying a suspected abuse call" Emily?, "and we came to check it out, when he was running out of the door. So we got him and then checked on you" he smiled, and wrapped a blanket over me- which he had jsut been handed by Lou- over his police Jacket. I pulled it closer over Ben.

"The wolves" I said.

He looked at me strange, "Wolves?" He repeated.

"Nothing" it was weird, the more I thought about it the more it made less sense. The wolves had burst through the door, breaking the glass. Then Derek was off me quick but I couldn't feel him getting up it was almost like he had been lifted off? and that one wolve- the brown one- who stopped when it almost realised I was scared? I shook my head, its just from the shock, wolves can't.....................

The medic had just left us, he put some plasters on my head saying they were superfisial and even though he wanted me to go to the hospital- I begged him not to- he said I was safe not to. He was now talking to the police officer- the one who gave me his coat. I peeled back the blanket and looked at the name tag.

_Swan _It read...................

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Hey tell me your thoughts of this, I apologise for grammar or spelling mistakes I do try but it is my weak point- so I am aware no need to be told :P I thought this was running long, so I cut it after charlie was introduced but more to come. I do need reviews to carry on- so if you like it speak up. did this cause got three...


	3. Spill the secrets feel the pain

Chief Swan was a nice man, you could tell that he hid behind his badge and he wasn't really one for many words but he knew what to say and when to say it. He helped me- cradling Ben- into his cruiser. I needed to give a statement at the police statement, and I suppose spill my guts about everything that has happened to me. But even though now that I am safe- or hope I am I still have this tight scared feeling deep in my chest. Like at any moment I will wake up and find this to be a dream and he will be there again in my room. My uncles sick hands touching my flesh.

There was something about Cheif Swan that made me feel secure, and made me feel relaxed. Even Ben was sound asleep in my quivering arms. "So, Daisy isn't it?" his soft voice ask, he took a slip of strong coffee. I nodded.

He exhaled, "I know that this is hard but....." he scratched his chin, it seemed like this was a hard subject for him to ask. I could see the sorry look in his eyes. "The more you tell us, me the more we can use against him"

Use against him? I have to tell every sorded detail relive every......I can't even bring myself to say the word.....ra.....r.....rap......Rape. A huge sob left my throat, luckily Ben didn't wake from it. My hand grasped at my lips holding them shut. A few tears streamed down my face, stop crying......stop crying- but I can't stop.

Chief Swan took Ben out of my arms and gave him to another officer to take him away from my sobs. He looked uncomfortable as he placed a hand on my shoulder, I wiped my tears away with my sleeve.

"It will be ok." He said, "Your safe"

"I know" I sobbed, "But.....but, I.... You don't want to hear what I have to say" I finally blurted out. I could just imagine the look on his face, the face of horror when I described how he forced himself on me the first time, second, third, forth.........

He took my hand and said that he will listen, and that I shouldn't worry about any words spoken in this room. It may seem scary but in the end it will turn out for the best. I wanted to tell him, to even tell him that tonight he lay a hand on me, and even though I knew that he knew about the attack tonight- from the fresh wounds on my face- but when I opened my mouth no words came out. Just a breath.

Is it because he was a man? For some strange reason I wanted Jake.....but I hardly knew him. Swan snapped my out of my thoughts.

"Do you want a woman to talk too?"

It was almost as if I had spoken my thoughts out loud, and I didn't know whether that was the problem. "I don't know whether that would help, but I .....can't be sure" I murmured out

He nodded his head, "I do understand how hard this must be, There is something else......." he said, trailing off.

"Yeah" I said, I put my feet on the chair and pulled my knee's close to my chest. I still had his jacket on and I wrapped it around me further. It made me feel like I was in a bubble- it was too over sized for me.

"You can stay here tonight, but Ben is too young to be kept here and out of a home so....." He trailed off, he must have seen the look on my face. But it wasn't sadness or clingyness that he saw it was .....relief.

"Carehome. Can you just make sure that he is looked well after, its going to be better than what he's had for the past two years" I said, my eyes glazed over. I would be pained to be from him but he would finally sleep well in a safe home- care home yes- but away from a danger and I could not protest when it was something I have so wanted.

I kissed Ben as he slumbered deep in the social workers arms and watched him leave me. But even though I felt bad, I did feel releaved. The big black hole in the pit of my stomach was disappearing. I have forever worried about him and now I don't have too- well not too much.

I was left in the office on my own, but I could hear a conversation from out side the a jar door. I think it was Cheif Swan and he was on the phone,

"Yes you see she wants to talk to a female and .....-

Yes there are no female officers here-

That was my plan-

No its not against the law-

If she feel comfortable to speak-

Yes.....yes I will be there to record each detail-

Are you sure you are able to do th.......

Yes, yes it will help her. Ok bye"

Hearing one end of a phone call is really annoying especially when they are talking about you.

Cheif Swan entered the room again, he plasted a smile across his face. "Ok I hope you don't mind but I thought that you may feel more comfortable out of the police office" I narrowed my eyes- where else would he take me?

"Where?" I asked

"My house, its where my daughter is she has agreed to talk to you" Oh great bounded off on another stranger, expected to spill my deep dark secretes, but it would be nice to get out of here and sit on a chair that wasn't so uncomfortable. So I found myself nodding my head and following him to his cruiser. The journey to his house was silent, not because he didn't try to talk to me but because I was to tired to answer.

I just shook my head, up, down sideways- does it matter. Even though a hole- regarding the safety of Ben- had been healed there was another one building, or resurfacing from years of being dormant. In fact in this hole was many mixed feelings.

Death of my parents.

The fact I was raped, over and over.

I was going crazy seeing bloody wolves in my kitchen, and lastly that I may have to tell this all to a stranger. Chiefs Swan mobile buzzed. I rested my head against the cold glass, it made my forehead burn, but that pain was nothing.

"Errr, " he started to say, I pealed my head from the glass and looked at him. He was no longer on his phone. "That was Bella"

"Your daughter" I asked.

"Yes, she is with her husband so it is ok if you go to their home.....well in fact I don't think they were in the cottage most likely Carlisle's and Esme's home" He murmured out.

"What ever" The words slipped out of my lips and as soon as they did, I felt like I had been rude. It was just turning into a very long night. "Sorry" he started to shake his head, " thank you for your help, yes it doesn't matter"- most likely I wont talk.

My leg was throbbing, it had been smashed against the hard floor- and it probably wasn't the best idea shooing away the paramedics but I hate someone else touching me. The sky was dark and it felt like we were never going to turn off this bare road, but just as I thought that we turned off on to a long drive way- I didn't even see that turn.

Holly crap- that is the biggest house ever. The large house stood at the end of the large garden, the woods was surrounding it. It was almost like it was its own island- away from prying eyes.

I dragged my leg out of the car and up the porch steps, I looked at in the light beaming from the house, well at least it wasn't bleeding it just looked red and swollen. I rolled my trouser leg back down and grit my teeth as I walked on it.

I stood hidden behind Charlie, I could see the face of the girl that opened the door. I followed charlie in passing her. It was then when I saw her face- Jacob the girl from the car...Bells- Bella.

She looked at me as well and narrowed her eyes. She obviously remembered me, I could see the 'sorry' look flash in her eyes. I only just made it to the couch- before I cried out from my leg pain- and sat down- without being asked- but they seem nice enough.

I felt naked sat in this large room, Bella and her father stood near the edge whispering among themselves. It looked like a home, a very clean, perfect....too perfect home but there was something that really felt familiar about it.

"Daisy" Swan said, what is his first name? "This is Bella"

"Hello" the young girl said, she was married? Gosh she must only be eighteen?

I barely nodded, my eyes felt dry- and I knew that they were red and swollen. I basically looked shit. I just wanted the couch to engulf me, my life to disapear into this white perfect room. I felt like the poison in it, nothing about me to be perfect. I was spoiled or despoiled by my uncle.

Charlie- I finally heard his name- moved to the far end of the room, and it seemed like he melted away. Bella sat on the opposite chair, she went on to offer me everything.

Juice-no

Water- no

Coffee- no

Toast- no

The room fell silent. She's too young to hear my horrors, she looks still too innocent. "Look" I said breaking the silence. "I know you've been forced in this... but I can't physically say it I"

"I am happy to listen, you have no idea what I have seen and heard." She looked at me, her large brown eyes made me feel like I was looking in a mirror- weird- and those simple words melted at me like I was butter being cut by a warmed knife.

And I spoke the words even before I realized what I was saying, " I was raped" I exhaled, and immediately- much to my surprise- I felt lighter.

Her face stayed smooth, not scared or repulsed. Not at all what I imagined- what had I been scared about- why was it though I was able to tell a stranger? I wanted to let go of more,

I closed my eyes, " More than once, and" A lump rose in my throat, I swallowed it back down. "its been two years. He never touched Ben" that was a important fact I wanted them to be sure of that, " I was fifteen when he first raped me" I heard her gasp a little, but I tried to ignore it. Bound to happen....bound to happen.....

I stood up, ignoring the pounding pain in my leg and started to pace around. My hands were shaking. "I wont describe every time is one ok?" this was directed at Charlie, he replied-" Yes that will be fine"

"It was......" and before I could answer, I choked on my words. "I can't....I can't" I sobbed. But then my leg suddenly felt even more painful- like I had been stabbed. I cried out, falling to my knees.

"Daisy" someone called.

"Its nothing" I said though my gritted teeth.

"Carlisle" Bella called, how strange Carlisle?

I felt my head flop back, "Whats happening" I could hear the fear in my words.

"Bella" A calming voice said, "What is it?"

"I don't know" she replied, "Daisy"

"Daisy my name is Carlisle can you tell me what is wrong?" I could feel cool fingers press my stitches on my head.

"My leg...." I screeched though another sharp bound of pain. The darkness fell in. But I wasn' t unconscious, I felt like I was floating. BUt then it hit me like a tidal wave.......

(flashback)

I was knelt at the end of my bed, my hands placed together- in a praying action- "I know I have never talked to you before.......maybe thats why I am haunted by demons am I being punished?" A tear rolled down my cheek, "Please, Please bring them back.....I want them back. Mummy......daddy, can you hear me? Why did you leave.......please bring them back, I'll do anything.....I need you......please..."

I buried my head in my mattress, but I jolted when a sticky hand touched my bare back. I tried to lift my head up but the hand moved to my neck and held me down, My head pushed sidewards so that I could breath- though I'd be happy to suffocate- for this to end now.

My night gown was pushed up, I no longer cried. It had been a full year of this, I no longer had tears to cry over this. The bed shook, I bit the bed sheet. It was hard no to again have thoughts of hate towards my parents. I do hate them for this, but when the guilt forms over me for doing this I remember that it wasn't their fault. But I should have died with them.

He thrusted deep over and over, his skin chaffing against mine. His sweat seeping deep into my pores, Even though he moved his hand from my back- no longer pressing me down- I still stayed still.

I felt him quiver and let out a groan. I bit back the bile.

It wasn't soon enough until he left, I heard him zip up but I never heard the door go- I was afraid to move, to look to see what was happening. But I didn't have to, a fist grabbed my hair and tugged hard. I was brought up, his eyes piercing my skin.

He flung me against the wall, my head whacked the wall. I knew it wasn't over, His hand reached to my breast, he sickly messaged me. His fingers forced his way up, his finger nails scratching causing more pain.

His hands were Strong against my thighs holding them wide open, I was bare. Like a rag doll on show.

****

I didn't realize that in the darkness I had been screaming nor the fact that I was back into the present time. My throat clenching and releasing a howl.

"Sshhh Daisy, its ok...your safe" A strange voice spoke, who's voice. Bella's? "Edward what is it?" Bella Asked,

"She...he....shes awake" he said suddenly.

I pealed open my eyes, the light was blinding but as soon as I thought that the room fell dark. Strange?

I could see three main faces, Bella's, and two others. One is Edward from the name oh the boy from the car, and the other was young as well. Pale like Edward, blonde and handsome. Carlisle?

"Yes this is Carlisle" Edward said, Did I ask that out loud?

Carlisle spoke, "Daisy you have a bad build up of fluid in your leg, and I need to drain it and then give you a does of antibiotics. I will also need to put you on a IV, ok" I couldn't speak, the scream had scratched my throat. I nodded.

My heard was wild, beating from that nightmare- if only-.

"Edward" A hushed voice whispered, "There will be blood"

"Ill be fine" he answered coolly. It was only then when I realized that someone was holding my hand. I looked to her warming eyes- so like mine- in the corner of my eyes I saw Edwards eyes flicked suddenly. Did I say that out loud again?

"It will be ok" she said again, I was something about the warmth of all these people that I felt my eyes swell. Its been so long to feel cared about. I wish they were family, they seem nice.

It didn't feel painful when Carlisle cut my flesh with the scalpel- due to the pain relef, which was making me light headed- but I could feel the warmth of the blood as it seeped down my leg.

Before I floated off again, I heard a gasp and someone say "Renesmee?"

*********

Hey what do you think? love to hear all thoughts.


	4. Im Renesmee Cullen

Ouch, my head is killing me. It is throbbing all over, its the drugs. I remember this feeling from the last time I was in the hospital. I can't think of that now, in fact Im finding it hard to think at all it is taking all my concentration.

Where am I?

Who am I?

Idiot. Somewhere with Swans?

No. Charlie Swan- Chief- oh and Bella Swan. Oh the Cullen residence, ow I remember now my leg. Did I actually start to tell Bella about my past? Damn I was delirious from the infected leg. Well...its strange I feel.....lighter. Like I have lost a dark part of my soul.

"No, Didn't you recognise the smell" Someone shouted. I tried to move, to open my eyes but I couldn't. I felt weighted down- not with emotions- but with something frightening, something beyond my control.

The voice was muffled, like it was coming from another room. "Don't tell me that. It's her" the voice shouted again, "......Bella"

I didn't mean to but a groan escaped my lips. I peeled open my eyes, but was blinded. A white hot light was above me, it reminded me of a hospital. The shouting had come to a halt, and it felt silent.

I tried to move my arms again, my eyes glanced down and I found myself bound to the table. A stab of panic flooded my heart. My whole body struggled against the binds, and a cry left my clenched teeth.

* * *

Flashback

My wrists ached, they were bound behind my back with cord. This was my punishment for clawing at his arm when his hands found my throat. I which that his grip had been harder and then at least I would have died and not just blacked out.

"Look" his fingers clamped on my face pulling it down to look at his arm. "Look what you did you stupid cow" _whack, _his hand met my face...again. "Now I have to hide the marks" he spat, his foot stomped on my leg.

"Now you will stay here until you have learned your lesson" The heavy cellar door slammed behind him, trapping me in and the light out. Darkness fell around me.

How can a human be so heartless?

Why does this have to happen to me? Was I bad in a previous life? Did I do something wrong...fail? Please someone help me......

My breath sounds filled the silence, and then the ruffle of rope. My hands tried to wiggle free, I could almost feel the blood being stopped-from the tightness of the bind- but nothing. I couldn't break free.

My lips were dry and cracked, and soon enough that feeling spread down my throat. My eyes searched the darkness but I didn't know what I was searching for...hope? No.

Monsters? No I have one right outside that door.

A scream escaped my throat when I felt tiny paws on my bare legs, a squeak filled the silence after my scream.

* * *

"Daisy.....Daisy" Two hands shook my shoulders. "Daisy"

My eyes flew open, and the scream still flowed out of my throat. "Please, please" I said.

Get me out, I wanted to scream that but my throat froze again.

"Get her out of these...that's whats bothering her" The shouting voice from before ordered. Is that Edward? "Yes Daisy, its Edward....shh your OK" Did I say that out loud?

"She's shaking" A female voice spoke, I remember that voice...Bella

My arms felt free again. Bella's face blocked the bright light, she pulled a large warm blanket up to my chin. I tried to open my mouth, to say thank you but my mouth failed me. I no longer felt tired but felt alert.

"Why.......Why was I tied up" I managed to croak out.

Carlisle came into my sight, he adjusted the cot beneath me and I was suddenly in a sitting position. "I apologise for that Daisy, you where thrashing around when I made the incision" Was I? all I remember is blacking out.

"Im sorry"

"There is no need for you to apologise" Carlise said, stroking my hair. "No how do you feel?"

"I.....fine" It was true, "My leg?"

"It is fine, you just will have trouble walking on it for a while. We have arranged for you to stay with us for a week or so...until you are well. Is that ok with you?"

My mouth quivered, they were so kind. "Yes" I breathed out, a warmth building up in my eyes. I quickly blinked it away. "Can I get up?, I want to move" he said trouble, he never said I couldn't move.

"It is not recommended"

"Please, I could do with some fresh air" I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed, I needed to feel the breeze on my face to make sure that this is real.

The boy Edward had helped me up, and he had guided me down the stairs- yes that was painful- and to the porch. He had brought the jacket so that I could sit comfortably. He was now sat adjacent to me. Bella had gone to make me something to eat- even though my stomach was growling I found myself protesting...what is wrong with me? Why am I finding it so hard accept kindness?

Im unsure what happened to Charlie, Carlisle or the other people living in this house- I have not yet had the pleasure to meet them.

The air was crisp, and nice on my skin. The woods seemed mystical around this house I felt like I could get lost for ever and have any baggage I have be lost in it.

"Edward" I said, he turned his face to me. "Who's Renesmee?" His face seemed to tighten at the mention of this name, pain flashed in his eyes. Had I crossed to far? "Im sorry.....that was rude of me..."

"No. Its ok"

"You don't have too..."

"She was my daughter...." he trailed off his eyes glaring into the woods.

"Was" I repeated, not realising I had spoken the words out loud.

"She was a child born into our home and we gave her up for adoption" He said. His face was still taught. I did't know what to say, he was upset about a decision he had made but wait..why was it that her name was spoken before?

"Sometimes the decisons are for the best...." he trailed off when Bella came onto the porch.

"Here you go" Bella handed me some hot chocolate.

Renesmee....Renesmee.....its so strange its like I have heard that name before....or read it.....Renesmee...???

* * *

"Daisy... are you coming" My mother was calling up the stairs. I knew that I had put my science book right here. My hand hit the top of the table. I was in my mothers office, it was where I had been doing my homework last night. I pulled open her draws just for the slight chance that it might be in there.

"Shoot" A pile of papers fell to the floor.

I grabbed them and shoved them back into the draw but then suddenly something caught my eye.

**Mrs Clair Sanders and Mr James Sanders legal adoption of Renesmee Carlie Cullen.**

**The court of Barb and Co have authorised this transactions. **

**Biological parents have wished to have there name printed on this form and have also concented to an open adoption;**

**Mrs Bella Cullen/ Swan and Mr Edward Cullen.**

Adoption?

I forced the piece of paper back in the draw and looked at the second piece. I felt shell shocked that the words seemed to jumble together.

**Legal name change of one Renesmee Carlie Cullen to Daisy Lauren Sanders.....**

Name change....mummy.

"Daisy" My moth....the woman named my mother called again.

* * *

I was seven when I found those papers and I didn't really understand what I had read on them, once they entered the draw again I never thought about them nor asked my _parents _about it.

* * *

A large gasp escaped my lips, those words on the forms flashed through my head.

"Daisy" Bella asked, she reached out towards me but I jolted away.

Im Renesmee Cullen?

I found myself throwing the hot chocolate across the porch and crawling away.

"Daisy" Another voice called....

***************

to be continued ....

please tell me your thoughts I am putting a lot of effort in this and hardly getting responses and other lol- so to keep this one updated regular I do need feed back (sorry for pushiness but I do have a lot of stories to keep up with)

xxxx


	5. Time for some memories

I'm Renesmee Cullen? No no no no no no. I'm Daisy, My parents loved me, died in a car crash where I should I have died. I have a brother Ben, he's not adopted I saw him in her stomach. Please...

"Daisy"

"Daisy?"

"Renesmee?"

"Stay away from me" I screamed and flailed my arms out hitting someone away. My leg ripped across the grass. "Awe" I screamed, a throbbing pain soaring through my leg.

Two arms pulled me off the floor. It was Edward. "Get off me. Don't touch me, don't touch me" Please, get off, off. My leg thrashed at his side, but he didn't budge. I let out a scream.

He placed me back on the grass. His face stricken with pain.

"Rene...Daisy" He was going to call me Renesmee. I kicked him with my bad leg- bad idea. Another throb of pain shot through my leg.

"Don't call me that. Don't.....I'm not her. I'm not. You have some sick fantasy. I'm not her" I screamed, my throat getting horse. My eyes looked at Bella, who was crying. Well dry sobbing. Her eyes looking at me.

Some more people have now come out. A blond, a massive jock type, and others but I can't concentrate. I have to get away. I ripped at the grass pulling myself up. Ignoring the pain in my leg. I've had worse, I've had worse.

When I was standing, I began to hobble along.

Edward was starting to move closer. "Stay back" I screamed, wrecking my throat. Carlisle put a hand on his sons shoulder. I continued on moving further and further into the dark woods. I think they had stopped following.

No.

No.

NO!

They are not my parents.....impossible.

There like seventeen......impossible.

Its some sick joke.

Wait.....did Bella's eyes change colour? They were brown, but then they were burning amber......What stop being stupid!

I pulled at the twigs to pull me along. I was afraid to look at my leg, I could feel the warm wetness. I had no idea where I was going, just deeper and deeper into the woods.

My leg was starting to feel numb....

I pushed on, moving further away. I felt my legs give way and the floor move closer to my face. Soil and branches dug deep in my face, I breathed out hard and watches as it pushed a leaf away.

My arms and legs weakly pushed at the soil, but failed I couldn't get up. I was more likely making a soil angel. A huge sob escaped my chest. It hurt. It really hurt.

* * *

_Flashback (supposed to be bitty like a very young child's memory. Remember how cleaver Renesmee is)_

"Mommy look I can walk" I said.

"Yes you can" she sung. Her voice so beautiful.

I can feel a happiness soar through me, I was making my mommy proud of me. Mommy picked me up and spun me around in her arms. I put my hand to her cheek, Love you mommy I thought.

"Love you too Nessie. With my whole heart" She kissed my forehead. Our hair the same, I grabbed at a curl. Gently twirling it im my fingers.

Daddy walked into the room. His face seemed sad. His golden eyes, not like mommy's red eyes. But I love them both. So colourful.

I was in daddy's arms. He was cradling me. Humming my favourite tune. "I love you" he whispered, pressing his lips to my cheek.

"Daddy....Mommy" I wailed. I could see them holding each other watching me being taken away. "Mommy....Daddy" I sobbed. I could see them getting further and futher away.

I saw mommy holding Mr. Teddy- Craddling it where I should be.

The car journey was long.

They don't want me?

New, unfamiliar arms around me. Not mommy's, not daddy's. Strangers.

I will never forget you......

* * *

_Flashback (forward)_

"Daisy" Why do they call me Daisy? Is that my name?

"Daisy" A woman called again. Pulling me up in her arms. "Its mommy" she said.

Mommy?

No didn't mommy have brown hair like mine? Not black.

"Daisy" I looked up at her. "Yes, Daisy. Your a big girl"

A man stroked my cheek. "Can you say Daddy?" he said. His smiling eyes looked at me

"Can you say mama?" the woman hummed in.

"Mommy" I said, her face gleamed and she wrapped her warm arms around me.

"Very good" her lips kissed my cheek.

"Daddy. Dada" The man said again.

Didn't my dad have golden eyes not blue?

"Daddy" I repeated and got another huge hug from the woman, and a kiss from the man.

"Mommy and daddy" They both nodded and replied to the words.

"Are you my family?" I asked.

"Yes, my precious child. Yes"

* * *

_Flashback (gone backwards) p.s spelling of names supposed to be spelt wrong. _

I'm in my favourite cot. Surround by my toys.

Mr Teddy.

Floppy the rabbit.

I want mommy, Daddy, aunt Rosie, Alicee, japer, bear, .......

But they are all in the other room. I can see them but can't hear them.

Mommy looks sad.

Daddy looks sad.

I throw Mr. Teddy out of the cot. He hits the floor.

Mommy looks and smiles. But doesn't come.

Mommy drops to the floor shaking. Mommy

"Mommy" I cry out.

Daddy leaves mommy and comes over.

He lifts me out and puts Mr Teddy in my arms.

He kisses my cheek, but his eyes go sad when he looks at my arm.

The scratches are deep, and red, but they don't hurt anymore.

Its ok Daddy, I think. I know he can hear me. He smiles, but I know he is still sad.

I hug him.

"Bad man gone" I say, "Nessie not hurt" I wave my arm in front of his face. He kisses the scabs.

"Have Mr. Teddy. He will make you happy" I say wanting to believe my own words. He takes Mr Teddy, and places me back in the cot.

* * *

I take a deep breath and blink. Where are these memories coming from?

I try to lift my head but fail. It hits the damp soil again.

I try to resist the next memory but it comes soaring though the depts of my mind.

* * *

_Flashback_

Mommy and daddy are in the next room of the cottage. I'm suppose to be sleeping but I can't. I throw Mr Teddy out and climb out after him.

It is dark in the room, but I can see.

I want to climb in their bed.

My door is open. I walk out.

The fire place is crackling warmth, spreading it through out the room.

Scarlett eyes suddenly pierce the dark room.

Not like mommy's, much darker. No love.

I cry out.

Pain in my arm.

Daddy angry.

Mommy sobbing, cradling.

Big rip.

Bad man dead.

Mommy trying to shield me from the sight.

Head torn from body.

Head in daddy's hands.

"Shh" Mommy said, rocking me from side to side.

"Are you ok?" Daddy asked.

I place my hands on their faces. Ask what happened.

No answer.

I show them the pain in my arm.

Red juice flows from the wound.

Daddy's eyes tighten, he holds me and mommy tight.

* * *

I gasp.

Forcing mounds of soil away from me as I push myself up. How can this be happening? I move deeper and deeper in the woods. I continue walking, not looking forward but instead checking to see if I am being followed.

Suddenly my foot slips.

_Crack._

I can hear stones bounce off each other.

_Bang._

I fall down hard, onto stone. The floor moves beneath my feet. No longer on solid ground.

Whats happening?

I can hear running water, but it is too dark to see.

My body falls, and my arms, fingers claw at the hard surface.

It then occurs to me, that I am hanging off a cliff edge.........

* * *

Thoughts please xxxx


	6. Falling into the darkness

Hey I hope you are liking the story so far, I have repeated some of the previous memories but changed them alittle (because sometimes this can happen when someone gets memory flashes) p.s the flash backs are memories from a child- so I tried to make them very simple, with sort sentences (child like)

* * *

My fingers are clawing at the rocks surface, failing as I am pulled further and further down. The water is fierce beneath me, sloshing against the jagged rocks. "Help" I tried to shout but but nothing came out, a soundless breath.

My legs kicked at the side, rocks falling free from my touch. Oh God I'm going to die. But what do I have?

According to my crazy brain my parents aren't my parents, instead these freaks _here _are, my brother after all these years isn't even releated. I was given away by my parents to great parents, but was left with a raping uncle...........No it can't be true. They aren't my parents.......they can't be.

I could feel fresh blood trickle down my legs, my knees were banging the rock race hard, my fingertips grew closer to the end. I wonder if your life flashes before your eyes? But what life do I have..

My weak fingers failed, and I felt the air it my back as I was engulfed by the dark sky. A scream managed to leave my throat, and my mind flickered like pages of a book being flipped over..

* * *

_Flashback_

I was in cold hands, but I was still warm? These hands held me so safe, cradled to his chest. Side to side, side to side I was motioned. The golden eyes met mine.

"Hello Renesmee Carlie Cullen" He cooed, leaning in close and kissing my forehead.

My hand raised to his cheek, I love you father. I said, but without speaking the words?

"I love you too"

A image flashed in my head, A brunette girl, beautiful soft curls, brown eyes, but something was wrong. She was in pain, red clammy face. Blood. The pain was caused by me? Mummy..

"Shhh, mommy is fine" he said, his hand stroking my back. "she's different from what you remember but she loves you very much"

I pictured the woman, my mother holding me in her arms. Different, does that mean she will look like Daddy? Carlisle? Rosalie? My other family members. Golden eyes, Porcelain skin, cold.

My father nodded, I hugged the different woman in my head. I still loved her, she was my mommy.

* * *

Flashback

I'm in mommy's arms, her protective grasp. Walking me around the room, I'm hungry, I touch her face.

"Hungry?"

I nod.

"Formula?"

I shake my head.

"Blood?"

I nod.

Before my mother even has time to direct herself near the kitchen, Rosalie is rushing to us with a warm cup of the Scarlett substance. Everyone comes to watch me, Everyone wants to feed me. I reach out to Jasper- its someone different every time- he takes me in his large arms, cup floor of blood. He tilts the cup to my lips and pours the warm blood into my mouth. I trails down my throat soothing the tiny burn I had.

It tastes so sweet, so Delicious.

* * *

The cold water hits my body as I come out of another memory, a wave comes and I am thrashed forwards. My body retches, from the cold, from the blood. Why was I drinking blood? My body shakes, trying to get warm. How long have I been in the water?

My legs kick to keep afloat.

The salty taste is in my mouth, It reminds me of salty blood. Yuck. Why do I know what blood tastes like?

The water feels heavy against my body, it is rough and cold. Very cold. Like a thousand tiny pin pricks on my skin. Tremors shake through my body.

My lips feel cold, they quiver.

Water spills in my mouth, I cough and suck in a breath. Breathing in more water. Water splutters out of my mouth.

My feet feel numb. I can barely keep kicking. Another wave pours over my head, I am thrown against the rocks.

Sharp pain in my side.

I blink the water away, the salt burns.

* * *

_Flashback _

Im leaving again, being pulled away from my parents. Mommy is craddling Mr. Teddy, I am glad. They will have him to remember me. Taken away to a new home.

Why do I have to leave?

Just because a bad man tried to hurt me, his eyes blazed red.

A word I heard my family use, Volturi.

I remember the volturi in the opening. With my friends and family. Proving I am born instead of a child changed.

Vampires.

Wolves.

I will never forget them, this new family will never be the same.

Even though I don't want to leave, I trust my family.

They will come for me.

Soon.

The car is driving down my drive, away from my home.

I look out the back window. Twist in my seat belt.

Daddy is holding mommy.

Mommy is holding Mr. Teddy.

Esme is sobbing. Please don't cry.

Carlisle is with Esme, behind them I see Rose and Emmett. They are sad.

Alice and Jasper, looking straight at me.

I wave.

They wave back. Pain in their faces.

I see a brown blurr against the green tree's.

Jake.

The blurr runs towards the car.

I cry out.

Jasper and Emmett hold him back. He is thrashing around.

"I love you Jake" I say knowing he can hear me.

"Love you family. Forever"

The brown wolf looks at me, his brown eyes flooding with tears.

We turn the corner, and move further away from my family.

* * *

I gasp and breath in a stagged breath. The salt burns my throat.

A wolf?

How can a wolf cry? Jake. Why did I call it Jake?

Oh God I'm Crazy. My body is shutting down and making me see vampires? and wolves?

Impossible.

I try to kick my legs, but I can't feel whether they are moving.

I'm numb from the waste down. My head bobbing just above the water.

Water filling my mouth, nose, ears.

I can't breath.

Can't hear.

I'm going to die here:

Alone.

Washed away in the ocean.

Never to be seen again.

My hands doggy paddle the surface, it doesn't make a differance.

I bit my lip, my teeth are chattering.

Water keeps rushing over my head. Pushing me further, and further down.

I push up to the waters surface.

"Help" I croak out.

No one will hear me.

I choke out the water filling my mouth, throat, lungs.

I gasp, feeling another wave come.

I'm dragged down. Cold water touching every surface of my skin. Black spots fill my eyes.

This is it.

The end.

The water drags me futher and further down. The darkness growing more over my eyes.

The cold freezing my body.

And then I fall in to complete darkness.


	7. More than what I first thought

A white light fills my eyes. I feel like I am floating, my head hurts it is throbbing. I try to move but found that I can't.

_Ouch. __Hello?_

_Why am I talking to myself? Great plus dying I'm going crazy. Wait am I dead? I remember the water, dark and cold. In fact I still feel so cold, but then.....then I died didn't I. I was drowning sinking deeper and then it all fell dark. How long ago was that? _

_Hello? _

I tried to say again but was only able to think it. Great this is just great.

_At least I'm dead and still able to be sarcastic._ _Where am I any way?_

"Daisy" some one called, It sounded so distant but so familiar. "Daisy" shouted the voice again, White and black dots flashed around in front of my eyes, I tried to blink. But where my eyes shut anyway? I still felt coldly numb.

"Daisy" My head suddenly stung white hot. Mom? It sounds like my moms voice...

_Mom?_

_Daisy?_

Through the white light walked a figure. Her face trigged in my memory, Mommy. She smiled at me, just like I remember before the accident.

_Mommy I love you. _I said trying to move closer towards her.

Suddenly I fell, Dragged away.

I gasped.

"Daisy" Someone called again.

"Mom" this time my lips moved, but it came out cracked and gurgled. I coughed. Salty water scraped up my wind pipe and throat as I coughed it out. The only feeling I could feel was my body shaking.

"Daisy" the female voice spoke again. It again like before was shouting. I felt wet. Water poured in my mouth, nose and ears again. This time though I didn't have the strength to fight back I couldn't even cough the water back up.

My lungs choked.

I hit a hard surface. No a hard thing hit me?

_Whack._

_Whack._

_Whack._

It whacked my back, over and over. I tried to open my eyes but they were weakly failing. The darkness stayed.

The last whack caused my lungs to release the salty burning water. I spluttered.

I heard someone talk but it wasn't clear, all I could hear was the water sloshing in my ears. I felt an arm wrap under me, the water seemed to move over me-like I was moving backwards.

The touch moved to my back, I felt the air hit my icy skin.

My body almost convulsed. It shook violently.

Grains pressed in my back. Sand?

"Daisy" the panicked muffled voice, spoke she was now closer to me.

"Mom?" I splutted again.

"Yes" She breathed.

"I .....missed you mom" I said through each gasp.

I willed my eyes to open. The dots swirled around and around. The night was still dark.

"Am I dead?" I asked.

"No, no baby your not" The voice replied.

_Im not? _Mom? My eyes searched around for the voice, and I found the source. Bella.

I screamed.

"Sssh Daisy its ok" she said.

Hands held me down, they weren't hers.

Edwards.

"Don't touch me" I said weakly.

"Nessie" A small voice said. It was husky, and who ever said it was panting.

A dark haired boy stepped in front of me. Jake. My heart lept. I suddenly felt safe. He helped me before.

"Jacob" I said.

My body shook hard, My head hit something hard.

Darkness.......

"Ouch" I coughed out.

"Daisy"

"Mmm" I said as I tried to open my eyes. Carlisle. "Oh God, I'm back here.......where's Jacob?" I asked. He was the only person I know to have helped me- well apart from Charlie- who I felt naturally safe with.

"He's nearby, but you've got a nasty wound on your head" He went to touch me, but I jolted away.

"Sorry" I said, "But I need to ask you something"

"Ok, but can I look at this while you do"

I nodded. I shouldn't have, a wave of dizziness hit me. I shook it off.

"Are you my family?" Please don't let the memories be true. Let Edward be lying.....please....please.....my life is already too complicated.

He sighed, and looked me in the eyes. He had a wad of blood gauze in his hand. "Yes" He said, he looked pained.

I blinked free the sudden tears.

No!

"Are you my father?" Though even he was quiet young looking.

"No" he said slightly taken back. "Edward and Bella are"

"What! But they are teenages, to have me the would have been like three....thats imposs......."

_Vampires_ flashed in my mind.

"Vam........your.....vam.....v...vampires" But the strange thing was that I wasn't afraid.

He nodded.

I was not going to ask the next impossible question, _Am I a vampire? _So I decided to move on.

"And....I was given away"

"Yes"

"Because I wasn't wanted"

"No" he said, very shocked. I offended him, but it must have been true.

"We didn't want too but more had too" a voice from across the room spoke. It was Bella, Edward was with her handing her hand. Jacob was behind them.

"Because of the bad man" The words left my lips without me thinking about them.

"That was one of the things" she said, them moving closer. She looked so sad.

I had a flash of me leaving again, in the car going down the drive way. It was this house. The auburn wolf and my mother and father standing with Mr. Teddy.

"I.....I don't rememeber everything clearly, to be honest it wasn't until I came here that I started to have flashbacks. It's like my memory was wiped, but I remember....Giving you a toy called Mr. teddy and...and a wolf" I sighed when it went blank.

When I looked up Jake was holding something. It was a teddy bear, it looked old and worn .Part of the ear was missing, as was one of the eyes. The stiching making up the mouth had come undone. There was a patch on his stomach- must have come opene and been patched up- but then I saw the initials on the bears foot R.C.C- It was Mr. Teddy.

"Is that him?" I asked.

Jakes chocolate brown sad eyes looked at me, "Yes. It really is you Nessie"

I shook my head. "My name is Daisy" I whispered. "I don't know this Nessie person......not yet" his face turned to pain, and I hated hurting him. "I'm sorry.......You kept him" I said pulling on the bears arm.

"Of course I did. It was yours" He said.

"So your the wolf" I asked, knowing the answer in my heart.

"Yes"

"You looked so......distressed"

"I didn't want you to go" He looked up at my eyes. My heart thudded against my chest.

I shivered. "Your cold" He said suddenly coming close to me so that he was sad next to me on the cot. Our sides touching. He was warm, it radiated towards me. He smelled woody.

* * *

_Flash back_

_Jake go faster _I thought. I was holding on to his brown fur, he was running through the woods. Dodging the trees. He let out a whimper, which I knew meant Ok. I pulled on his shaggy long fur like he was a horse. I knew I wasn't hurting him.....too much.

I was only young, but I knew that I loved Jake and that he loved me. Even though I know my father hates the thought of it, there is something special between us. Like it is a unseen bond.

I climbed up higher on his fur and grabbed one of his ears. Jake released a part moan and wolvie laugh. "Stop" I said as he came up on a familiar opening.

Volturi flashed in my mind.

Jake stopped and fell to all fours so that I could jump easily off. I ran around the field. I went to the part the other 'bad' vampires came in. I tried to pull a evil face and did my hands as claws. 'Grrr' I said.

Jake gave me a dopey grin and let his tongue swing from his mouth. I walked up to him, still acting like one of the guards on the volturi- but more animated- when I reached Jake he playfull snapped his teeth at me.

I giggled and ran through his legs, pulled his tail. He tried to follow me but ended up falling to his side. I knew he had done it to make me laugh and it worked.

I opened my arms and gave him a hug. _Love you, you are my best friend _I thought and Jake thought the same back

* * *

"Daisy are you ok?"

"Daisy"

I opened my eyes to see Carlisle, Bella, Edward and Jake surrounding my bed.

"I think so" I said, as I tried to remember where I was. The are so weird they come at you in sudden flashes. "I had a memory.....I think. What happened?"

"Your eyes closed and you just went out of it" Jake said, my hand was warm and when I looked down he was holding it in his big hands.

"What did you remember?" Carlisle asked, putting a thermometer in my ear- the ear kind- it beeped. He moved across the room very fast but I found that I could easily watch him. He grabbed some extra blankets and placed them on me. I shivered.

I was glad when Jake retook his place next to me.

I began to tell them what I had just remembered.

* * *

Review please :) Thank you for reading.


	8. Dear Renesmee

Hey sorry it has been so long, just got a sudden wave of an idea so went with it. Hope you like this chapter..

* * *

_Dearest Renesmee,_

_This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write. I just wish you could read it, or better yet if I didn't have to write a letter. I was the most happiest father in the whole world, just seeing your face was enough to make my heart shine. You are and always will be my miracle child, and I will love you for eternity. It pains me to know that you will be gone and if you ever read this may be confused why we did what me and your mother had to do. Please know that I would have loved for you to stay with us but we did this for you and your safety. _

_You are a special child, and I know that you will be in safer hands until the future when we may meet again. My heart is with you forever. _

_Always your father Edward Cullen._

"You wrote this?" I asked holding the letter in my hand.

"Yes" he replied, "I knew that they would never take it, so I kept it for a day just like today. It was the first of many letters, ones that I would give to you and show you how loved you were"

"There's more?"

"Yes" he pulled of the lid to a shoe box, inside were stacks of unopened letters addressed to the girl I am suppose to be. Renesmee, a child born into a vampire family, not the brother of Ben.

"Can I" I said gesturing to the box.

"Of course.....and there not all from me, some are from Bella and others"

_I want to be alone to read these. _I thought, forgetting about his ability to read my mind.

"I'll leave you then, and just be out side" he smiled a weak crooked smile and left the room.

I picked up another envelope, they all looked the same. All white with my foreign name on the front.

_Dear Renesmee, _

_This is your mother, I found out today that they called you Daisy. It's a nice name, but to me you will always be my little Renesmee Carlie Cullen. In my heart that name is also special. Renesmee is a combination of two wonderful mothers in my life. Renee and Esme, I hope that you can meet them both one day. I know for sure that they love you, as they did from the day you were born. _

_Its been a week since you left us, and my heart is already crumbling into a thousand pieces. To think that for a while at least you will call someone else your mother is a pain that I cannot even form words for. The days are going slow here, and I can only have a memory of you until we reunite again. _

_That is the thought which keep me strong. _

_Love you with the whole of my heart you mother _

_Bella Cullen._

It feels strange reading letters that they have written, I remember them. I remember all of them, but the feelings that they feel for me are not shared back to them. To me, they are still a strange family, they feel like a dream.

I tore open the next letter.

_Nessie, _

_That is the name I created for you, your name was a mouthful. Nessie seemed to flow better, but your mother nearly whipped my ass for giving you a name after the loch Ness monster. I know that these letters are for both you and us...me. It gives me hope that one day you will come back to us and be able to read these with me by your side again. _

_I flipped when you left. I'm telling you this so you know how important you are to me, you are my imprintee and I will always love you, as a friend, as a lover, as 'what ever you want from Me' Brother? just know that my heart may be in my chest but it no longer seems to be happy. I am no longer happy, I feel like the joy has been taken from the world. _

_I love you Renesmee Cullen, and I'll be damned that if you ever come back to us that I'll let you out of my sight ever again._

_Jacob Black_

And the Next...

_Renesmee/ Daisy,_

_It is hard for me to write the name Daisy but I know that you will be more familiar with that name now. Me and your mother came close to you today, we stood right outside your kitchen window and watched you take part in your new family._

_Your mother sobbed when she heard you speak to your present adopted mother, and I nearly too crumbled to when I heard your thoughts. _

_You thought to your self 'When's daddy home?' and that was hard for me to hear as well. _

_On the upside it was nice to know that you were safe and well, but I tell you this so that you know how involved we were in you life even though we never seemed present. _

_You had grown so much, your smile was enough just to keep us going for a while longer. While we sort out this Mess._

_Edward Cullen, your biological father. _

_xxxxx_

I kept opening more and more....

_Dear Daisy/ Renesmee Carlie Cullen/ Nessie/ Loch Ness Monster,_

_Wow you have more names than a secret agent. I am co writing this is with your aunt Rosalie Cullen, my wife. I am your big- very strong- uncle Emmett. It is no longer fun around here, hurry back so I can whip you bum in a game of arm wrestling._

_Emmette._

_I feel weird writing a letter when I know you wont get it until a few years have passed, just know that the first time I held you in my arms I knew you were special. Or even the first time your mother called me, I protected her and you to make sure that you were here today. Your brown hair, brown eyes and ability to wrap everyone around your finger is burned into my mind as are you. You are never forgotten here._

_Love Rose xxx_

_My dearest Miss Renesmee, _

_I think your father is very cleaver coming up with this process, as I can imagine this will not be an easy process for when you find out who you really are. My name is Carlisle Cullen, the head of this family. Your grandpa. I don't know what others have written you but I thought it be good to give you a little bit of knowledge on your family. _

_I was the first one in this family to be changed, and to be honest I wasn't so made up with this life, but as you will learn we aren't traditional vampires we feast on animal blood instead of humans. A term we like to use is vegetarian vampire, a little joke amongst ourselves. I found this a curse, but I feel that if you live good in this live then if we ever shall move on we may be welcomed into the next. The first child of mine to be changed was in fact your father, and what a kind soul he was. I couldn't ask for a better son. The next to follow was your grandmother Esme, another truly angelic soul. _

_We went on to change Rosalie who changed Emmett to be her life partner, Jasper and Alice found their own ways into our lives but we are grateful that they did. Even thought that was our family to begin with before we came to Forks and met your mother, it was one that was not complete. _

_Your father and your mother fell in love and in tern had a magical baby which is not common amongst any vampires, but seeing at the time your mother was human it was made possible. When you were born for a long time our family was complete, so know that with you gone it has shook the whole family and we will not be whole until we have you return._

_So to hopeful futures, till we meet _

_Carlisle Cullen._

I threw down the box and suddenly felt a pain in my chest, since my parents..well adopted parents died and I was with my uncle I never felt loved. But reading all of these letters prove that there was never a time when I wasn't loved.

I suppose theres no point living in the past because there is nothing there to hold me back. I'm loved now, so now I should try to fit in with my new family....or try too.

I spent the rest of the night reading letters, hearing the others wait out side my room. I felt safe, and loved and drifted off to sleep with a letter in my hand.....


End file.
